Title: Sexy Motherpucker
A Bad Motherpuckers Novel
Author: Lili Valente
Author: Lili Valente
Genre: Steamy Romantic Comedy/Hockey Romance
Cover Design: Bootstrap Designs
Release Date: May 22, 2017
When the family dog trots in with my diaphragm in its mouth—in
front of my date, his parents, and his adorable little girl—you would think I’d
hit rock bottom.
front of my date, his parents, and his adorable little girl—you would think I’d
hit rock bottom.
WRONG.
Let’s back this up a sec…
Brendan Daniels is the sexiest man alive. The captain of the
Badger’s NHL team is also clever, kind, funny, and was my good friend…until we
cruised out of the friend zone one weekend with a red-hot fling. Come Monday
morning, I wanted to keep riding the Big O train to happy town, but Brendan
wanted someone who was “stepmom” material.
Badger’s NHL team is also clever, kind, funny, and was my good friend…until we
cruised out of the friend zone one weekend with a red-hot fling. Come Monday
morning, I wanted to keep riding the Big O train to happy town, but Brendan
wanted someone who was “stepmom” material.
A.K.A, not me, apparently.
The problem? I’m crazy in love with him and his daughter. So when
he asks me to be his pretend girlfriend for a long weekend with his former
in-laws, I say yes. We’re still friends, after all, and friends don’t let
friends fake it alone.
he asks me to be his pretend girlfriend for a long weekend with his former
in-laws, I say yes. We’re still friends, after all, and friends don’t let
friends fake it alone.
***
Laura Collins is the last woman I should be thinking about taking
in the back seat of my car, in the woods behind my in-laws’ house, or in a
hotel room where we’re sharing one very small, very squeaky bed.
in the back seat of my car, in the woods behind my in-laws’ house, or in a
hotel room where we’re sharing one very small, very squeaky bed.
I need a steady, stable influence for my daughter, not a fling
with this too wild, too young, too impulsive red head. So what if she’s
beautiful and intense and passionate and has the biggest heart I’ve ever known?
with this too wild, too young, too impulsive red head. So what if she’s
beautiful and intense and passionate and has the biggest heart I’ve ever known?
I don’t want to fall in love. I really don’t. The whole “pretend
girlfriend” thing was supposed to solve my problems, buy me a little more time.
girlfriend” thing was supposed to solve my problems, buy me a little more time.
But when it comes to Laura?
Hell,
maybe I’m just not cut out for faking it.
Pre-order Links
Title: Puck Aholic
A Bad Motherpuckers Novel
Author: Lili Valente
Author: Lili Valente
Genre: Steamy Romantic Comedy/Hockey Romance
Cover Design: Bootstrap Designs
Release Date: July 11, 2017
I hate my new roommate.
And I want to do dirty, delicious things to her in that swing she
installed that we both know has nothing to
do with aerial yoga.
installed that we both know has nothing to
do with aerial yoga.
Neither of which is good, considering Diana Daniels is my NHL team
captain’s little sister, and he will
break my face if I’m not a perfect gentleman.
captain’s little sister, and he will
break my face if I’m not a perfect gentleman.
I try to be. Really, I do. But when Diana runs screaming down the
hall wearing nothing but a damp washcloth, all my gentlemanly intentions go out
the window. She’s got all sorts of Jedi mind tricks to make a man obsessed with
getting her into bed, and I’m not gonna lie—I fall for every single one of
them.
hall wearing nothing but a damp washcloth, all my gentlemanly intentions go out
the window. She’s got all sorts of Jedi mind tricks to make a man obsessed with
getting her into bed, and I’m not gonna lie—I fall for every single one of
them.
Especially the one where she warns me not to fall for her.
***
Everyone knows that banging your new roomie is a bad idea. And if
it wasn’t for his sister’s stupid pet pig, Wanda, chasing me out of the
bathroom mid-shower, Tanner Nowicki and I might still be able to pretend we
hate each other.
it wasn’t for his sister’s stupid pet pig, Wanda, chasing me out of the
bathroom mid-shower, Tanner Nowicki and I might still be able to pretend we
hate each other.
But that pig totally has it out for me, and before I can warn
Tanner that I don’t do relationships—or hockey players or my brother’s friends,
for that matter—he’s doing me.
Against the wall. And in his bed. And in my bed. And on a pinball machine where
we get an all time high score.
Tanner that I don’t do relationships—or hockey players or my brother’s friends,
for that matter—he’s doing me.
Against the wall. And in his bed. And in my bed. And on a pinball machine where
we get an all time high score.
And it’s so incredible that I start to forget that I’m the
unluckiest woman alive when it comes to relationships. And pigs. And aerial
yoga. And worst of all, love.
unluckiest woman alive when it comes to relationships. And pigs. And aerial
yoga. And worst of all, love.
But
hey, it’s not like I didn’t warn him…
hey, it’s not like I didn’t warn him…
Pre-order Link
Also Available
Lili Valente has slept under the stars in Greece,
eaten dinner at midnight with French men who couldn’t be trusted to keep their
mouths on their food, and walked alone through Munich’s red light district
after dark and lived to tell the tale. These days you can find her writing in a tent
beside the sea, drinking coconut water and thinking delightfully dirty
thoughts.
eaten dinner at midnight with French men who couldn’t be trusted to keep their
mouths on their food, and walked alone through Munich’s red light district
after dark and lived to tell the tale. These days you can find her writing in a tent
beside the sea, drinking coconut water and thinking delightfully dirty
thoughts.
